Relationship Saving Strategies And Techniques
Save The Marriage
A marriage only recovers in one, predictable way. . . there is only one path back. The specific steps on that path may vary (depending on the stage) but the “way back” is the same. Imagine a map on a trip. You may start from different places, different distances, but you are still going to take the roads that lead to the Interstate that leads to your destination. You only need to know the path from where you are.
Save The Marriage will give you an understanding of what happened to your marriage, how to save it, and how to start creating the marriage of your dreams. You will benefit from Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D, nearly twenty years of working with clients, in person, and literally, thousands of couples in various settings. Don’t expect hundreds of pages that just reiterate what everyone else has already said. Instead, Lee have made the ideas and information readable and easily understood. No “psycho -babble” here, just the facts, ideas, and actions you need to save your marriage. I will tell you what went wrong, what to do to change it, and how to do it.
Save The Marriage
Unlike system, most of these guides are written by ghost writers that are hiding behind a pretty picture. Lee a real, live person that you can actually contact.
And for a very limited time Save My Marriage including 4 Free Bonuses: Bonus 1: Coping With A MidLife Marriage Crisis Bonus 2: Recovering From An Affair Bonus 3: 5 Rules For Fair Fighting Bonus 4: A Very Special Bonus Ebook Change Of Heart
Save The Marriage It’s not just about avoiding divorce. . . it’s about creating the marriage relationship of your secret dreams.
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Save The Marriage Useful Informations
When we continue to believe that love is the heart of a relationship, when that feeling is gone, we believe we are no longer in love. That is not the case; we have just failed to fuel the fire.
Here are the 4 steps that you must follow if you want to change the destiny of a marriage in trouble
1- Quit the blame game. Stop blaming your spouse and stop blaming yourself. This is the first step because marriages get frozen into a pattern of blame that immobilizes any prospect of progress. Instead, the momentum gets dragged down and down.
Blame is our way of avoiding seeing ourselves clearly. It is much easier to point the finger somewhere and say “It’s their fault.” But in marriage, you can just as easily turn that pointing finger on yourself and place the blame there, saying “it’s all my fault.”
Unfortunately, blame feels good in the short-term, but in the long-term, it prevents any shift or change. So, even if you can make a long list of why you or your spouse should be blamed, forget it. Even if that list is factual, it will not help you put your marriage back together. Blame is the fuel of divorces.
2- Take responsibility. Decide you can do something. Change always begins with one person who wants to see a change. Understand that taking responsibility is not the same as taking the blame (see above).
Instead, blame is saying “regardless of who is at fault, there are some things I can do differently, and I am going to do them.” What buttons do you allow your spouse to push? What buttons do you push with your spouse? Decide not to allow those buttons to be pushed and stop pushing the buttons.
What amazes me in my counseling is that everyone knows what they should be doing or not doing. But it is difficult to move in that direction. Don’t be caught in that. Decide that you will take action.
The difference between blame and responsibility is this: if I am in a burning building, I can stand around trying to figure out who started the blaze, why it has spread so quickly, and who I am going to sue when it is over (blame), or I can get myself and anyone else I can out of that building (taking responsibility). When a marriage is in trouble, the house is on fire. How will you take action to save the marriage?
3- Get resources from experts. If others have been helped, you can be, too. Experts with a great deal more perspective and experience can be a real help in these situations. Do your research and divide the useless from the useful, then take advantage of the useful.
Don’t assume that your situation is so different from every other situation. I can tell you that after 20-some years of providing therapy, not too much new comes through my doors. Don’t get me wrong; the story changes, but the dynamics are the same.
Remember what Albert Einstein said, “The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them.” In other words, what got you into trouble will not get you out of trouble. That requires a whole new level of thinking. And that is what you get from an outside expert, someone with a fresh perspective.
4- Take action. More damage is done by doing nothing by taking a misstep. It is too easy to get paralyzed by the situation. Therapists often talk about “analysis paralysis.” This occurs when people get so caught up in their churning thoughts and attempts to “figure things out” that they never take action.
By acting on love, by making love a verb and not an emotion, we keep the emotional fire stoked. And that is the great irony: if we depend on the feeling of being in love to keep us together, it will fail. But if we set that aside and focus on being loving, the feeling of being in love is sustained. Mature love is a verb, not an emotion.
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